Tuesday, March 24, 2015

WTH??? Who Knew Firemen had a Dungeon????!!!



Seriously, WTF. I don't even know where to begin on this one.

So, the day after I got Geo home I knew I needed to make a few calls to see what I was going to do with him during the day. I know I might have done more research before getting Geo, and I did some, but it seemed kind of useless to invest the time until I knew I had him. Anyway, I made the call from my land line. (Don't laugh, it's super useful and besides my building isn't upgraded so I need the land line for my door buzzer. whatever, that's not the point OK?) So I made the calls and then I had to run out for a minute. And look you Maryland wackadoos, before you call CPS (like you even know where I live) I'm pretty sure that the state I live in doesn't have an age limit on when you can leave them alone, so chill. Besides, I was just going down to change the laundry, which is all the way in the basement, but I figured it would be OK. What's the worst that could happen? I certainly found out.

I guess Geo saw me using the phone, and it seem that he decided to try using it. He somehow managed to call the fire department. I didn't hear it because of the dryer, but I guess they came roaring in thinking it was a real fire. (Did I mention Geo doesn't speak English? I think that was part of the problem.) So what do these idiots do? Well let me ask you, if you found out it was simple mistake would you a) wait for the parent to come back and try to work it out, or b) destroy my office while chasing Geo around trying to catch him? Can you guess which one these firemen picked? I mean, do firemen even have arrest powers? Shouldn't they have called a cop? Or CPS? Or animal control? Or something? Who's ever heard of firemen taking someone down on their own?

But that's not even the worst part. Not only do these glorified EMTs take Geo with them, they LOCK HIM IN A FUCKING DUNGEON. Sorry, but I'm appalled. Why do firemen have a dungeon? I am def talking to a lawyer about this. There's no way this can be legal (Thanks Obama). Next we're going to learn that the mailman runs Gitmo.

Oh, but it gets better (worse), Geo was looking out the window, and this dude comes in to get him to stop. How's that for draconian? No looking out the window in fireman Gitmo. No siree Bob. So the dude is real fat and he tries to get on a bench to get Geo down and like falls over, and Geo runs out the open door. That's my boy!

So Geo escapes, but because he's so into new experiences he ends committing petty larceny on his way home. He stole a bunch of balloons. I don't think he'll do it again though because he ended up kind of flying away. There was gust of wind and he's pretty light, so he ended up in the middle of the street trying to control all these balloons. It was pretty hairy.

I was driving down to the fire station to get him (in my super cool topless ride), and happened to be in the intersection when Geo touched down. I was able to pay off the balloon man. I also got Geo to a care facility where they can keep an eye on him and he can be around a bunch of other little animals who can hopefully socialize him some.

The charges against Geo are still pending. I'm sure they'll be dismissed, but just having charges of misdemeanor mischief, felony assault, and a jail break on his record could haunt him. I dunno, this parenting thing might be more than I anticipated.

Until next time, I'm T, AKA The Dad with the Yellow Hat.

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